Meet the Author
Mimi’s Family Life
Born in the late 70’s in Philadelphia, PA to the most loving parents, I describe my upbringing as a very wholesome, happy, All-American childhood. My parents provided a modest home for my older brother and I on their working-class income, we always had what we needed.
Witnessing my parents, almost 50-year marriage, over the years has certainly influenced my life decisions. My parents are classic Mars and Venus - mom is an outgoing extrovert who could party and travel all the time, and if she never cooked a meal or washed a dish again in life, it'd be just fine. While dad is a mellow introvert who could eat home cooking every day, miss virtually every party and every trip, and be just fine. Mom would've preferred more romance, while Dad would've preferred less pomp and circumstance – just keep it simple. But despite their different ways and desires, they've made it work. Love for their family, respect for each other, and probably a drop of “don't rock the boat" allowed them to stay together. Also, it helps that they're both just really good-hearted people so there was never a need to part ways.
However, seeing their dynamic over the years definitely influenced my dating decisions. I acknowledge I am not as strong as my parents; fundamental compatibility is prime for me – and I do not think my parents are fundamentally compatible. It took lots of work and adjustment to “make it work.” Many in my generation may have left, especially because in our generation, we have a larger pool of dating options, plus most women today have the means to financially support themselves.
By contrast, mom’s mom, born in 1920, also in Philadelphia, was not able to finish high school, and unfortunately chose a man who turned out to be an alcoholic and who left her to raise three young kids on her own. Until her 50s, grandmom's options were fairly limited, likely to men she met within a 30-mile radius of her home. Plus, like most women until my generation, she faced that dire age 25 timeline to meet, marry and mate; if only she knew she was grabbing a not-so-good mate.
But everything happens for a reason. Grandma raised her three children on her own, in the Philadelphia projects, and when she was done, she traveled around the country on church trips, including Hawaii, and to Canada. She lived until 2007 and in the 30 years I knew her, she never dated. Grandma was the happiest, most free person I've probably ever known. I spent my childhood summer's in her 300 square foot Section 8 efficiency where you could practically eat off the floor, she was so neat and clean. She never even talked about a man, (other than the one good one who died prematurely and unexpectedly in the 1950s). Grandma lived out her golden years in the simplest way - in her words, "doing what I wanna, when I wanna," and man-free.
Mimi’s Personal Life
When I came of age in the 80s and 90s, I was taught that education and a successful career were vital. I watched my mom go to work everyday, just like my dad, and there was an unspoken expectation that I would work hard myself one day, after attending college. There was also a societal expectation that I marry and have kids, but I was the first generation where the pressure to do so was not so dire. I had freedom to choose to marry, or not, throughout my 30s really, unlike women before me.
I also had the option of meeting men abroad, so my man pool was much greater than my mom or grand mom. From my first crush, a dirty blonde-haired blue-eyed boy in my kindergarten class, to the Armenian guy I got horizontal with during a work trip to Germany in my late 20s, to getting chased to my conference hotel room from a Moroccan colleague in Costa Rica, no one can say I haven't had plentiful dating options in my life. Maybe one could argue I had too many options lol.
Thankfully, I am one of those few women in the world who never dreamed of a wedding day, nor having kids. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I was constantly told by strangers, friends, and my family I would change my mind, but I have never wavered. I channel my inner-Oprah (and Grandma) every day, living my best life, with no pull towards marriage, but if a good Stedman shows up, I would certainly entertain a long-term committed partnership. Heyyy 😉
The good part about me having zero internal pressures to settle down is that it allowed me to steer clear of selecting the wrong mate just to beat the biological clock. My clock was clearly broken and thank goodness because if I had to choose from the men who have crossed my path, I imagine I'd be divorced or in jail by 40 lol.
Ah but alas, today, I am incredibly happy and single at 40 years of age. My family and friends are my soul mates, and I’m proud I can say with confidence that I can live a full and fulfilled life just as I am today.
Mimi resides in Orlando, FL and is continuing to enjoy her best life.